Come see our sink grown plant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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