My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Terrible idea I love it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
