i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
