We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
