They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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