she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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