how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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