The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
