Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
