I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
