Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
