Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
