You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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