He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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