He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
