I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize