You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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