he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
