Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
