is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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