Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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