he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
