Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
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So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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