just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
