Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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