I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
