I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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