She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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