at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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