In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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