i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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