She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
