i need an iv and a liver transplant
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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