OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
