how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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