I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize