i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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