# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
