she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
