And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
