Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
