She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
