Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.