how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
