Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
