Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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