Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
