I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize