If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
