When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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