I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize