this boner is exhausting
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
