ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
