it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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