I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
