His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
