i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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