ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize