Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
