Soap is not a condiment
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize