I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
