I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize