biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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