Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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