The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
